We won't sleep together?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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