is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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