So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I could fuck to npr.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
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