fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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