you guys were way drunker than both of me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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