my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
