Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
