dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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