Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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