I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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