marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize