Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
