mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
