I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
