Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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