the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
