Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
