Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
