i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
