with your own penis?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
