this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize