You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
