How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
