I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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