I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
