Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
