Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
