just come out here and I will go home with you...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
