Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
handjob tips. give me some.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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