Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
