i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
No more Irish car bombs ever.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
