this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
don't judge my taste in strippers
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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