Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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