My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
