ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
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