Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize