just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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