She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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