Can i not drive my cunt home
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
