he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
