All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
