I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
