it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
