I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
