So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
