Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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