can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize