garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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