He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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