the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
