Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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