also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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