kristin has been a bad kristin
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
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