wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
