That's when you crack a 10am beer
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
