Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
