did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
