tell your sister to shave her snatch
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
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