I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
