She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
my being single is dangerous.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
