things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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