i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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