Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
