He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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