do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
do nipples grow back?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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